Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
