Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
