as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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