So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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