Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
