So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
