And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
