the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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