just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
