Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
