Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
