508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
