Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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