That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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