it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
