i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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