Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
