She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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