My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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