yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
