Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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