Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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