It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
