Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
