She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
