Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
