she woke up with a sticky ear
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's blow job season.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
