It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
