Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
