Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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