I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
