There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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