Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
