He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
