so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
