Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
