I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
