I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
