I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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