I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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