Dual....:-)
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
