time to smoke my breakfast
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
