fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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