party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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