Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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