Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
