It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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