Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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