his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
