Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
