Porn is love you can see.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
